


Another Day Without You (I'm Losing My Mind)

by kitkat0723



Series: Love Letters 'Verse [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Buck is really missing Eddie, Christopher is a little angel, Eddie is really missing Buck, Eddie wants Buck to come back home, M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:01:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkat0723/pseuds/kitkat0723
Summary: Eddie is really missing Buck, but when Buck calls after the funeral, things get a little better. Eddie really wants his man home.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Love Letters 'Verse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805962
Comments: 17
Kudos: 96





	Another Day Without You (I'm Losing My Mind)

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little self indulgent on mine and Shan's part. This one starts a little different. It starts with the letter, then finishes with a phone call. 
> 
> Make sure you're following the series and her and me to get all the updates!! You can't have Eddie's POV without Buck's and Shan's got them for you!
> 
> Hopefully you love this addition!

_Dear Evan,_ _  
__I know I’ve said this the last few times but I miss you. The way you smile. The way you move. Your lips on mine. I miss everything you are and we are when you’re here. Don’t worry, I’ll call in the morning to cancel the venues. There’s no chance in hell I would ever go look at something so important without you. Chris was so excited after your phone call. There’s not enough thanks in the world for me to express how grateful I am that you love him like he’s yours. He’s everything to me, and so are you. To know he’s everything, as I am, to you makes me one of the happiest people in the world._ _  
__I can’t wait until we can spend forever together. Waking up together, raising Chris together. Holding hands as we go on a walk down the beach, or anywhere. Vacations if we can swing it. I want to do everything while growing old and gray with you. I just want forever to prove to you how much I love you._ _  
__The first day we met, I wandered what the hell I’d done to offend you so badly. But we’ve since moved way past that and I am so blessed to call you mine. One of the best things about you is how selfless you are. You give and give without a thought to yourself, even when I wish you would. You don’t have to give away everything for others to love you. Especially me. I love everything about you. From your amazing selfless heart to your birthmark. And everything in between. I wish you were here though because damn do I realize just what alone feels like. You filled an enormous piece of my heart, my soul that was missing. I will always love Shannon, and will always be thankful for her giving me Chris and for the two of us learning how to love. Without her, and that life lesson, I wouldn’t know what it was like to be with my soulmate. I don’t want to get too sappy, I just want you to know what you mean to me. I love you._ _  
__Today may be hard but know that Chris and I, along with the rest of this chosen family are with you and your sister today and always. We can weather the storm together because we know how to dance in the rain. Please remember to take care of yourself. Sleeping without each other is hard, but we can do it. Dream of me. And I’ll meet you there. No matter how much distance is between us. I love you, Chris loves you. Be safe._ _  
_ _  
__Now and Always,_ _  
__My Love,_ _  
__Eddie._

Eddie closed his laptop and rose from the kitchen table, putting the mug he was drinking from in the sink. Turning off the light, he headed down to his bed, knowing it was going to be another night staring at the ceiling until his brain went numb enough to sleep.

Of course just as he was about to go to sleep, his Google Calendar popped up a reminder. He groaned and tossed his phone down. Just another reminder his boyfriend wasn’t home.   
Getting up in the morning took a lot of willpower. More than he cared to admit thank you very much. Chris smiled and hugged him when he walked into the kitchen. Eddie leaned down and gave Chris a kiss on the head. “Hey, buddy. All set for school?”   
“Yep! And Buck told me I could email him when I get my test back.”   
Eddie chuckled. As if he wouldn’t brag on the best kid on the planet? “You sure can. We’re both so proud of you.”   
“Are we still going to see those places tomorrow? Where we were supposed to go with Buck?”   
Eddie frowned, looking down at the eggs in the skillet. He really didn’t need the reminder. He’d totally forgotten they told Chris he could go with them. “We’re not going, bud. I don’t want to go without him. So we can do something else. How does the Science Center sound?”   
“Okay! Is breakfast done?”   
Eddie turned the burner off and reached over for a plate. “Yeah, it is.”   
Eddie put the plate of eggs on the table then went back for Christopher’s juice. He grabbed a box of cereal for himself sitting at the table with his son.   
After dropping off Chris at school, Eddie headed back to the empty house. Bills needed to be paid, plus, he was definitely taking tomorrow off. Bobby would get why, probably. He knows he’s acting like a love sick fool, he just can’t help it. Eddie was so gone and head over heels for Evan Buckley. After paying the bills, he headed out to do grocery shopping, grabbing the keys to Buck’s jeep on a whim. He just needed to feel close to him. The funeral was scheduled for today, Buck had sent him the funeral card. The Buckley siblings had done right by their parents, even if their parents hadn’t done right by them. It was a gorgeous card. Even the photo they used seemed like a nice one.   
Driving Buck’s jeep was different than driving his truck. For one thing it was shorter. Why Buck, being as tall as he is didn’t want a taller vehicle, Eddie will never know. At least it was easier to park than the truck. Grocery shopping without Chris or Buck was boring, but he was quickly in and out of the store. After putting the groceries away, he headed back outside and grabbed the bucket and rags from the shed. Both the truck and the jeep needed a good washing but Eddie didn’t have it in him to take both vehicles to the car wash. Too much time.   
When his phone rang, he looked at it and sighed as he answered.   
“Hey.”   
_“Why do you sound so down?”_ Karen’s voice filtered through the speaker.   
“My boyfriend is thousands of miles away at his parents’ funerals. Or just finishing them up. I guess. Time zones.” Eddie muttered as the rag landed in the soap bucket before he picked the hose up and adjusted the spray nozzle.   
_“Oh. That was today?”_  
“They wanted it done quickly so they could get back fast. It still sucks they have to be gone a month.”   
_“I hear that. Hen and I wanted to know if you and Christopher wanted to hang out tomorrow?”_   
“We made plans to go to the science center. So we’ll likely be packing lunch too. Would you like to join us? We can make a day of it. The boys can hang out and I can stop being miserable with just myself for company. I’m actually supposed to work tomorrow, but I messaged Bobby. I never thought I’d be this bad without him.”   
Karen chuckled. _“That actually sounds like fun. We’ll see you at nine at your place. We can take one car. Save on gas. He’ll be back, Eddie.”_   
Eddie sighed and set the hose back on the ground. “I know that, Karen, I just don’t know what kind of shape he’ll be in when I get him back.”   
“ _Eddie. He’s Buck. He’ll be the same as when he left_.”   
“I hope so. Anyway, I’m in the middle of washing the truck and jeep. Talk to you later?”   
_“Of course.”_  
Eddie disconnected the call and went to work on washing the jeep. Just because no one was actively driving it, doesn’t mean it had to be dirty.   
It was after one when his phone rang again. He had another hour or two before he had to pick up Christopher from school. He smiled when he saw the picture that popped up on his screen. Hearing Buck’s voice was a relief.   
“ _Hey, babe_.” Eddie smiled at the ease the pet name fell from the other man's lips.   
“Hey, is it over?” He wanted to make sure Buck could talk.   
He could hear Buck moving around, staying quiet to listen.   
“ _Yeah. Well, the worst part of it? Yea, that’s over_. _What are you doing?_ ”   
“Right now? I’m wondering how I filled my days before you when Christopher was at school.”   
Buck hummed a little, Eddie wishing more than anything that sound was right next to him. You never really thought about what you missed about a person until they were gone.   
_“Well, I can think of errands. And Cleaning.”_ Eddie heard what he thought was the rustling of some clothes, but that could be wishful thinking on his part. He had only to close his eyes to picture his boyfriend naked. _“And I do believe some time in bed with someone. Are you bored?”_  
Yeah, well the someone he wanted to be in bed with was across the country. Eddie knew he was sulking, but fuck he really really loved Buck. If Buck was thinking about what Eddie was surely thinking he was thinking. Things would get embarrassing. “Isn’t Maddie there with you? I didn’t say I was bored.”   
_“Maddie. Maddie left so I could talk to you._ ”   
Eddie moved from foot to foot. He didn’t mind talking to his boyfriend in the least, he just wished they could _s_ ee, touch, _feel,_ each other.  
“That was nice of her to give you some privacy.”   
“ _Ed-die,_ ” Buck groaned, probably sitting down. Eddie bit his lip. That should not have sounded as sexy as it did. But then again, Evan Buckley made even the most mundane things sexy to Eddie. Fuck he had it bad. “ _I’m pretty sure she left us alone because she figured we’d have sex.”_  
“But you’re all the way across the country.” Eddie knew he sounded very much like his son when Christopher was overly tired, but at this point in their relationship if he couldn’t be a little pouty with his boyfriend, then where could they go?   
“ _Well, sweetheart, I’m pretty sure I can still do something. Go to our room._ ” He could hear the smile in Buck’s voice.   
Knowing he could never refuse his other half anything, he muttered as such as he walked down the hall to their bedroom.   
He sat on the edge of the bed, because there was no way they were about to do this. “Fine. I’m sitting on our bed.”   
“ _Jeans or sweatpants_?” Eddie heard something quietly thump on the other end and frowned. Why did it matter?   
“Jeans. Why?” 

“ _ I still have my slacks on from the funeral _ ,” Buck replied conversationally.

Eddie’s eyes grew huge. Not those ones. Fuck.“The black ones?”

“ _ Mmhmm. The ones you like so much. The ones I wore on our first date. _ ” 

Eddie groaned. “Why would you say that to me?” 

“ _ Because I want that picture in your head when I take you apart. I’m laying here in this very cold, empty bed with my shirt off and barefoot… in those slacks you like so much. _ ”

Eddie pulled the phone away from his ear, then placed it back to ask a simple question.“What are you doing, Buck?” 

“ _ I might not be able to touch you, but… Lay down on the bed, love. Because I know you and you’re still sitting on the edge of the bed. _ ” Eddie, once again couldn’t tell Buck no so he did what was asked of him. How easy it was to just let Buck take control. It just wasn’t fair, it had to be this way. “ _ Get your shirt off, Eddie. Get comfortable _ .”

“How did you get all those girls to fall at your feet, Buckley? Cuz that was not romantic at all.” Eddie sat up and tossed his shirt off, it was hot in the bedroom. He would never admit it was his boyfriend's words that made him hot. 

“ _ First off. It was girls and guys. Second off. I’m just getting you comfortable. _ ”

Eddie scoffed. “Bragging about your conquests is not gonna make me easy.”

“ _ Oh, but it was one of my conquests who taught me that thing that you like so much when I’m sucking you off. _ ” 

Eddie had nothing to say to that. Apparently it only took seven days away for his boyfriend to turn into someone else. Not that he minded this version of Buck, but he’d never say so. 

“ _ If I was home with you? God, Eddie, I don’t know if I’d want you on top of me, all that gorgeous muscle pushing me down, surrounding me. Or if I want to lay down next to you so I can reach all that beautiful skin. _ ”

“I wish you were here touching me.” He really really wanted Buck’s hands on him right now. His jeans felt painfully tight. He popped the button and slid them down his thighs. 

“ _ Then touch yourself _ .” Buck's voice was low and boarding on sinful. “ _ Close your eyes and run your hand down those beautiful muscles. If I was there, I’d press my fingers into those muscles and watch them twitch as I touched. I’d follow it with my mouth. Did the bruises fade, love? Can you still see my mark on your skin? _ ” 

Eddie wrapped a hand around himself, giving his hardened cock a few teasing strokes. It wasn’t Buck’s hand or mouth, but it would do. “They’re fading, when you get home? After a couple of days, we’re going to send Christopher to Hen and Karen’s for the night and spend the day and night in bed.” 

Eddie smiled at the noise Buck had made at his words. “ _ That sounds perfect, babe. I wanna take my time with you. What I wouldn’t do to get my hands on you.” _

“Touch yourself.” Eddie dropped his voice. He supposed two could play Buck’s game. Besides, he was so turned on.    
“ _ Press your fingers against where I left my marks. I wanna take my time with you, _ ” Buck told him and fuck. This was not how he pictured his afternoon would go. “ _ Get my hands and my mouth on you. Suck you down and take you right to the edge. Then push inside you and fuck you until you can’t remember anything, but my name and how good you feel.” _

Eddie groaned, trying to keep his grip on his cell phone while he stroked and teased himself. “God, Buck, why? We’ve still got another three weeks.”

“ _ Because the things just your voice does to me _ .” 

“Touch yourself, babe. I wanna hear what I’m doing to you.” Eddie really wanted to get his hands on his boyfriend. “I wanna lose myself in you for just a minute.”

Buck let out a low delicious moan.    
“Evan,” Eddie moaned Buck’s name as he moved his hand faster and faster. 

“ _ Talk to me, Eddie. Are you close _ ?” 

He was close, but didn’t want to fall over the edge without Buck. “Evan, baby, wish I could feel you. I want you to touch me.”

“So close.” Buck’s panting and heavy voice filtered through the line. And Fuck he was almost there.    
“ _ Come on, love, come for me _ .” 

“God, Evan,” Eddie moaned out Buck’s name again before spilling himself into his hand. It wasn’t anywhere near as satisfying as having the real thing, but he felt some of the tension he’d been carrying around all week fade. 

“ _ I love you, _ ” Buck whispered softly and Eddie had to grab more tissues from the side of the bed, to wipe the stray tears that had fallen unwelcomed from his eyes. He would not lose his shit over a phone call and phone sex. 

“I love you, too, sweetheart. I miss you.”

“ _ Your letter this morning. I want that. I want all of that with you _ .”

“I know. I do, too.” Eddie looked down at himself and groaned. He had to clean himself up. “And now I need a shower before I go pick-up Christopher.”

“ _ Mmmm, wet and soapy Eddie. _ ” Eddie knew his boyfriend was smiling. “ _ Yeah, I should probably shower, too, before… _ ”

“ _ Buck _ ?” Eddie heard Maddie call out for her brother and laughed as he heard Buck’s breathing pick up in a panic.  _ “I think I found a place! I’m coming in. _ ”

“ _ No! _ ” Buck yelped, making Eddie chuckle. “ _ Just. Give me a minute!” _

Eddie smiled, laughing loudly. Buck was seconds away from behind discovered half naked, probably by his sister. He wondered how red Buck’s face was that minute. “Go, Buck. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“ _ Give Chris a hug for me. Love ya. _ ”    
Before Eddie could tell him of course or say I love you back, the line went dead. Eddie laid his head back against the pillows with a sigh. Hopefully the month went by quickly, because he missed his boyfriend and wanted to hold him.    


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments make my day. I hope you're enjoying this whole series. Shan and I are having fun with it. 
> 
> Come scream at us on tumblr : @Kitkat0723 and @medie-Shanachie


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